I have a fetish.
I’ve had it for years, and its slowly gotten worse. I know I probably need some kind of group therapy for it, but I am a horrible listener (which explains this blog,) and I imagine that rolling my eyes during a group therapy session would go over like a turd in a punchbowl.
And I’ve been known to roll my eyes. Its a bad habit I’ve learned from the masters ~ Gwen, Garrick, and sadly, Troy.
But when it comes right down to it, I really don’t WANT to change, so group therapy or any 12-step program would be wasted on me. (Its kind of like the idea of dieting is wasted on me. I really don’t want to. Counting points, counting carbs, counting calories….WHATEVER. I would rather count the minutes until my next meal.)
Ok, here it is, my big confession. Please don’t judge me.
I ADORE DOOR MATS.
Yes, I said it. Door Mats.
Have you ANY IDEA how difficult it is to be a closet Door Mat Adorer? It’s nearly impossible! Door Mats are right out front, not in some stinkin closet!
“Why?” you ask? “Why, Pam? Why Door Mats? Why not Salt and Pepper shakers, or Tea Cups, or Historic Coins or Irish Spoons? Who in the world collects Door Mats?”
Talk about an opportunity to control a first impression! Door Mats ARE the quintessential first impression! I love to change them to fit my various Moods. I have some to reflect the season or Holiday. (WIPE YOUR FEET! This includes you, Santa!). I have some to reflect my philosophies. (Enjoy Life!) But my favorite is ridiculously simple, and leaves everyone who passes over it smiling. It reads simply,
“Hi, I’m Mat.”
It’s so silly, and it speaks to everyone.
That’s what people relate to, really. We humans love Silly. And not just any silly…we love Simple Silly. Arrogance tunes people out. Simple Silly endears. Like a Golden Retriever. Not the brightest bulb in the box of dog choices, but argueably one of the most loveable.
I wish I had more doorways so I could get more doormats. Is that wrong? Do I need an intervention?