Since our Christmas season this year is going to be rather abbreviated for various reasons, we had to squeeze a pound of Christmas Do-ings into an ounce of time this weekend. We hunted for and cut down our Christmas Tree, pruned it, put it up, realized it was crooked, and put it up again, decorated it, and decided it was facing the wrong way, so we moved the whole ding-dang show until My Captain’s OCD was satiated.
AND, we went to two shows: “A Tuba Christmas” and “Jingle Bells, Batman Smells.”
Don’t judge me. I’m trying to entertain people from the ages of pre-teen through Senior Citizen. It’s tough to make everyone happy. Fortunately potty humor is our universal love-language, and we do just fine at venues like these. Hunting the tree on a crisp, cold, clear day was lovely, as it usually is every year. This year we actually forgot to bicker, and clearly we need to go back and have a do-over.
A Christmas tree hunt without some minor family squabble feels just plain weird. But without much ado, the tree was agreed upon. The children each got their try at cutting….…though to be fair, they might have been napping, it was hard to tell. And My Captain, as he does every year, had to finish the job. I supervise. At my age and girth, it is my God-given right to just stand there and supervise. Critter found a couple of oddities this year at the Tree Farm. Most notably was a dead possum at the base of one of the trees in the field. Because nothing says ‘Live Christmas Tree’ like a halfway rotted corpse of some unfortunate overgrown rodent.
But also, he found the tree tops of two Christmas trees that someone else had clearly trimmed and discarded right there in the field.
MOM! I’ve got to have these!
Er, okay. For curiosity’s sake, why?
I need to make a couple of Critter Cristmas trees! They’d be like Charlie Brown Christmas trees, only REAL!
My Captain’s mind was way ahead of us. Right after he got our precious family tree up for us to decorate, he took Critter to his work area, and proceeded to do manly things like glue with super heavy duty, oh-lord-don’t-get-this-on-your-clothes wood glue. and drill with a heavy duty, two speed, supercalifragilistic drill, and nail…gently, so you don’t split the wood! And because Mama is watching, and you KNOW how she gets. And the next thing we knew, Critter bellowed, “Eureka!” and it was done.
Okay, there was no “Eureka!” It was more like a “Behold!” Or maybe it was a “Woot!Woot!” I can’t really recall. But what I DO remember is his face. It reminded me of the Absentminded Professor right after he invented Flubber. But a Critter Christmas Tree is way, way, WAY better than any silly ol’ Flubber.