Monthly Archives: January 2013

~ Great Eggspectations ~

After climbing on Sunday we went to dinner at a restaurant so cool, so entertaining, we almost forgot to eat.

Ok, that statement was just asinine.  Like I could ever forget to eat.   Honey, please.

2013-01-27 17.47.13

It has a ridiculous name…Eggspectation.  I love corny jokes.  LOVE them.  Corny corn corn!

2013-01-27 17.47.56

And then I saw these door handles.  More corny corn corn.

2013-01-27 18.31.23

And saw their motto on the menus.  MORE corny corn corn!

This Canadian Restaurant chain has a fantastic sense of humor.  There are eggs all over the restaurant…. artistically rendered, sometimes just plain ridiculously so.  Even the bathroom stalls are designed like chicken coops….minus the straw.  We all found ourselves noticing funny egg-related things throughout the evening and snickering or chuckling or rolling our eyes.  There was much gastronomic merriment, I tell you!

2013-01-27 19.16.54

And then, it got serious.

Chocolate Torte serious.

Nine Layer Chocolate Torte serious.

…..And the laughing stopped.  All fell silent as the rush of respect and awe filled the room.

And nothing was left but the sound of chewing.

Eggspectation in Ellicot City.  Try it, if you like eggs….

and corny corn corn.

Categories: Uncategorized | 1 Comment

~ Social Climbing ~

I just wanted to do something unusual with my family AND at the same time, see some friends we rarely get to see.  Our friends, Paul and Heather had a gem of an idea: Wall Climbing at EarthTreks in Columbia, Maryland.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!” was the response from the under-age peanut gallery at the little cottage.

“You’ll enjoy it!” I promised, as I packed snacks and drinks.

“NOOOOOOOOOO!” They cried.

“It’ll be an adventure!” I urged, as I organized everything into the car.

“NOOOOOOOOO!” They pouted.

“Get in the damn car!” I barked.

And off we went, just like that.

Life really is so much easier when you just get straight to the barking.  Everything else is just for show.

Varmint was honestly scared.  She is not a fan of heights.  We could rationalize everything ad nauseam:  My Captain has a ton of rope training and experience from his time on Maryland Task Force One, he would never leave her side,  the ropes are incredibly strong, the floors are very padded, the harnesses will not give.

It didn’t matter.  She was shaking, quite literally, with fear.

Critter, on the other hand, does not know he is mortal, and we have to take the opposite tack with him:   Yes, you have to wear a harness.  Yes you have to wear a rope. No, you may not jump down from the top.

And so the day began.

2013-01-27 14.22.14

This is Paul.  Paul is demonstrating two things:  1) how strong the harness is and 2) how strong he is.  You may remember Paul from the Bethany Beach Fourth of July Blueberry Pie Eating Contest.  He rocked it three times in a row.  He’s my hero.  I’m going to be him someday.

With less facial hair.


Varmint got ready, looked her fears right in the eyes, shot me a dirty, reproachful, “HOW COULD YOU MAKE ME DO THIS?” look, and started ascending the wall….   2013-01-27 14.40.44

…..hating me every bloomin’ step, and muttering to herself quietly enough that I could not discern the exact foul language she may have been employing.

2013-01-27 14.40.47

My Captain had her safely in his belay the whole time, and she eventually trusted that.  But she still hated me for being so dadburn pushy and overbearing.

2013-01-27 15.42.05

That is, until she reached the top.  And then she beamed.  And she glowed.  And she decided to climb up the wall a few more times without me pushing her into it.

And she proved to herself that she had more ability than she ever fathomed.

Oh, she still hated me, but I can take it.  She’s only eleven, after all.  I’ve got a few more years of being hated to go, I reckon.

2013-01-27 15.39.48

Critter, on the other hand…..

2013-01-27 15.40.02

…is blissfully unaware of his own mortality.

2013-01-27 15.40.43

And is wickedly adventuresome….one might say, beyond the voice of reason.

2013-01-27 15.40.57

One might even venture to say he is foolishly, zealously, brazenly over-confident.

2013-01-27 15.41.07

And rather callously unconcerned with his little ol’ mama’s skipping heart.

2013-01-27 15.41.23

In fact, you might say he’s an imp.

2013-01-27 15.41.46

A cocky one, at that.

2013-01-27 15.42.05

This picture has nothing to do with the story.  I just like the looks of My Captain in a climbing harness. 2013-01-27 15.42.57

Paul’s daughter, Zoe, reassured me that there was no need to worry about Critter.

2013-01-27 15.43.40

“Aw, there’s nothing to it,” she promised.  “He’ll be fine.”

2013-01-27 15.43.57

She said this as she herself scrambled like a monkey up the wall….as if gravity were optional.

2013-01-27 15.44.07

This picture has nothing to do with the story either.  I just love his arms and shoulders, and, er backside.

2013-01-27 15.44.31

“Hmmm,” muttered Critter, “I bet I could do that faster.”

2013-01-27 16.54.43

“Me, too!” answered Paul.

2013-01-27 16.55.14

And then he did!

2013-01-27 16.55.30

Rather nimbly, I might add.  Not bad for an 85-year-old man.

2013-01-27 16.55.45

I just wanted to look at this guy again.   BOY HOWDY.

Can you believe he is married to me?  I sure as heck can’t.  I keep waiting for him to realize the enormity of what he’s done.  But in the meantime, I’ll enjoy the view, thank you very much.

Wait, what was this post about again?

Categories: Family | Tags: , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

~ Tubing ~

I don’t care if zipping down the hill at Mach Five is a barrel of giggles, if I have to do it in subzero weather, it just ain’t worth it to me.

If I have to cover my entire face up to prevent parts and pieces of it from freezing and falling off, it ain’t worth it to me.

If it takes me 10 minutes to disrobe enough to be able to tinkle, and 15 minutes to re-robe, it ain’t worth it to me.

Then again, if the munchkins are happy…..


It’s worth it.

Categories: Uncategorized | Leave a comment

~ Decade ~

My Critter, my baby boy, my sweet little guy….turned 10 today.

I sobbed.

I broke martini glasses in a fit of rage.

I begged Father Time to stop.

I laughed hysterically that my life has sped so out of control.

I counted at least 20 more grey hairs, some of which were even on my head.

I gazed listlessly at photos taken years ago, and wondered things like:


….where did my little boy go?…


…if he misses me holding him on my lap as much as I miss holding him….


….will he retain his silliness over the next decade, or will life knock it out of him?…


….what the heck was I thinking by wearing pony tails?

These are the questions that will keep me up tonight.

I hope the rest of you fare better.

Categories: Uncategorized | 1 Comment

~ Tokens of Infection ~

Last February I showed you our beloved candy jar in ~ Tokens of Affection ~.

We’ve added a little something new on the candy spectrum to the room this year.  A nod, so to speak, to our mortality.  A bow to our recent illnesses.

Behold, the new candy bowl, lovingly known as “Tokens of Infection“, or  “Polka-Dotted Bowl O’ Health.


Basically, it’s a bowl full of multi-citrus-flavored Vitamin-C candy drops.  They’re pretty tasty, so before you snicker, try one!  Try a couple!  Try several, Daggum it!  Because they’re not merely candy! No. No! NO!  They are VITAMINS, after all!

Sorry for all the yelling and exclamation points.  I’m excitable.

Here’s the thing:   If you are going to eat a whole slew of them at once, don’t, for goodness sake, eat the sugar-free ones.

Because, apparently, those will give you… er… gastrointestinal distress of the acutest kind.

And, if you were to do that, we’d have to re-name the Bowl O’ Health to something entirely different, and I just don’t have the energy.

I don’t want to sugar up my family any more than the next soccer-mom, but I also don’t want a bowl full of colon stimulators.  So, in my great maternal wisdom, I mixed the two kinds together in the bowl.  That way sometimes you’ll get a sugar-free Vitamin-C drop, and sometimes you’ll get the real sugary deal.

It’s gastrointestinal Russian Roulette.  And, like Mary Poppins, I like to make everything in life a little more fun.

Candy anyone?


Categories: Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Blog at

%d bloggers like this: