Posts Tagged With: silly

~ Dapper Moose ~

Posted on March 6, 2016 by mamaboe

March has hit The Little Cottage, full-tilt! The children’s art wall now sports homemade St. Patty’s day clovers from years-gone-by.

Every year, our family has gathered at the kitchen table to make our own artistic renderings of shamrocks. No, we’re not Irish, but we do like to celebrate like we were!!!

Who wouldn’t? No one, that’s who!

This was Varmint’s, from last year……

…and this was Critters from 2008….he had a hard time writing his name (Garrick), and so this particular shamrock is known as the “Gorrk Shamrock”.

And this one was Grandma Jane’s from way back in….oh, wait…it was last year. Let’s be honest…she pencil-whipped it. Grandma Jane has a problem with whipping up motivation to make shamrocks. I think that particular shamrock was her way of saying “Here’s my bleepity bleep bleep family shamrock…can we eat now?” She’s like that….

And after we do the shamrocks, which everyone except Grandma happily does, we dress up the Moose. He has a nice top hat and bow tie. He’s dapper, that guy.

You’ll note the yummy muffins in the background. I wish I could brag that they were homemade, but this particular carbo-loaded pile is fresh from the store.

I’ll be honest, my muffins suck. No Blarney. For real. I’ve rarely been able to turn out a perfectly fluffy muffin. Got a C in Home Economics on my muffins because I was too rough on my batter. Some things never change.

Don’t tell anyone. I live in shame, to this day.

Where was I?

Right, the Moose. My Captain dressed him yesterday. He did it super fast, too. Faster than you could look up how to spell Shillelagh….which took me longer than you’d believe because I’m a bonehead, apparently.

He walked out there, all casual-like, threw the costume on lightning-quick, and hightailed it back to the house before more than a couple of cars passed the house.

Our Dapper Leprechaun Moose. Do you think My Captain was embarrassed to be seen doing that for me? That’s love, I tell ya.

Eleven more days until St. Patty’s day! Not that we’re counting or anything!

Don’t judge.

Categories: Family, Food | Tags: Critter, Family, fun, funny, goofy, kids, Parenting, raising children, silly, varmint | Leave a comment

~ Multi-Grip Valentine ~

Posted on February 10, 2016 by mamaboe

I get the award for THE BEST Valentine’s gift to a hubby this year. I don’t care if you gals got your hubbies season tickets to a private box at Oriole Park at Camden Yards. I don’t care if you got your Beloveds a case of his favorite, over-priced microbrew and a booklet of homemade coupons for favors that you made out of candy sweethearts. I WON this Valentine’s Day. I’m the queen. Put a Capital on that: I’m the QUEEN of Valentine Wifey Gifts for 2016.

“WHAT???” You beg, jumping up and down in excitement, “What makes you the Queen this year, Mama?”

I’m so glad you asked!

I thought about My Captain, and how difficult he is to give to during any holiday. He’s impossible to shop for for Christmas, Birthdays, you name it. It’s not that he’s high-maintenance, or overly particular. It’s that he is exactly the opposite! He is LOW-Maintenance. He doesn’t want anyone spending time and money on him. He ignores the argument that other people might enjoy giving as much as he does. He refuses to be a receiver.

Santa gave up on him decades ago.

So I thought about him. And I thought, and I thought, and I thought. What makes this man happy? What, within my realm, could I possibly give him to make him grin ear-to-ear, and feel absolutely taken care of, the way he makes me feel so supported? What do you give such a man???

Which led me to this stroke of genius: HELLO!! He’s a MAN! The answer was suddenly so obvious, if it had been a snake, it would have bitten me. Twice.

My friends, I bought him a TOOL. But not just ANY tool! I bought him a genyouuuuuiiiine, original, one-and-only FIRE FALCON.

fire-falcon-product-sheet

I gave it to him today, in advance of Valentine’s Day, because I have NO ability to keep a secret, and I just CAN’T WAIT!!!! Patience has never been my strong suit. Thank goodness My Captain finds it charming!

At least, I tell him he does.

What is the Fire Falcon? I mentioned it in my last post: Stovetop Grease Fire, A Love Story. This is the best, fanciest, hardest-core, extreme firefighting tool ever made, here, and around the world.

It’s not cheap, because it’s made of highest grade materials, like composite, steel and fiberglass.

It has advanced engineering, and was created by one of the oldest, saltiest firemen in the nation.

It is The Cadillac of fire-overhaul and battle weapons. This thing is THE BOMB, and every firefighter out there secretly covets one of these. Believe me, it’s right up there with the lastest iPod, or iWatch, or gizmo gadget. Anyone who uses this thing can’t HELP but channel a little bit of Batman when he’s working.

fire-falcon-tool-view-2

What, exactly, does the Fire Falcon do?

When a firefighter is in a fire, they have to COMPLETELY extinguish that fire, and they have to get it right the first time. And if the fire has extended into areas that are hidden, ie: behind walls, or over ceilings, or under floors, they have to find it. To do this they have to expose these areas…they have to open the walls or the ceilings, or the floors, to find a sinister little phenomenon that they call “Fire Extension.” Using the right tool to expose this can mean the difference between life and death….No Joke.

See the three-pronged grapple talons, or, as I like to call them, ‘whosie-whatsies’ on the one end? (Do NOT judge my kitchen rug…I’m not a photographer, people! I’m a Mama!)

2016-02-10 11.03.17

It’s closed, then with a twist of the multi-tool handle, the spring-loaded talons open. It can be used to break through a ceiling or wall, and the talons will fold down as it passes through the drywall, then open to a grapple-hook of sorts… (Do NOT judge my poor camera skills!)

2016-02-10 11.00.32

…which then can grab more dry wall, or whatever they are trying to clear to get to fire extension. It saves valuable time and muscle resource, and come on, it’s cool as all get out.

See the loop on each end?

2016-02-10 11.03.11

Those are for attaching rescue carabiners, in case of a need to bailout of a window, or off a roof, or some such calamity. In other words, a firefighter in need of extreme escape can ram the grapple hook through a wall after attaching his rope to it, and then fling himself down and away from the inferno with a much greater chance of survival. That’s a good thing!

And see this other end?

2016-02-10 11.03.30

It’s a hammer. It’s a Prying End. It’s a combo-grip. This end is great for prying apart trim work, breaking doors, ramming walls, and other forcible entry needs, and it’s also a mighty comfortable handle.

2016-02-10 10.59.56

And look at the grip. THAT is a grip, baby! (I’m talking about the handle, not the hand!)

2016-02-10 10.59.28

OF COURSE I did my homework, and asked the company to send the right size for My Captain. The Fire Falcon comes in many sizes to fit each firefighter! My Beloved is a long, tall drink of water, and he needed a big one!

I think he liked it. I KNOW he wasn’t expecting his Valentine’s present to be made of Steel and Fiberglass. I definitely know he is the only one on his shift that is getting one for Valentine’s Day! He’s special! So yeah, I think he liked it.

2016-02-10 10.59.30

Wanna know how I know?

2016-02-10 11.01.09

I win!!

Love,

Valentine’s Queen, 2016

Categories: Family, Fire and Rescue | Tags: Fire and Rescue, firefighting, funny, Love, silly | Leave a comment

~ Critter’s Quest ~

Posted on July 9, 2015 by mamaboe

If you have children… Or if you had children, and they are now grown…. Or if you ever were a child yourself (wait, what?), then this story will take you back, make you smile, and put warm squishy fuzzy feelings in your gut, similar to that of gas from a Taco Bell Volcano Supreme Burrito.

THIS is Critter’s living room fort. It spans the entire room, and uses all of the chairs, including My Captain’s favorite recliner. To get into the fort, you have to say the password.

How do you get the password? You have to go on a quest for it, of course.

I had just picked up My Captain from the airport shuttle this evening, and he was exhausted from several days of training out in San Diego, and feeling sick in general. He wanted nothing more than to pop open one of his high-falootin’ fancy schmancy micro-brew beers, kick back in his recliner, and let Sir Monty of Stinky Butt curl up in his lap to bring his blood pressure down.

But he didn’t know the password. So guess who had to start a quest for the password, and was good natured enough about it to be resigned to said quest, instead of stomping his feet and ripping down the fort? That’s right, My Beloved.

Here was the beginning:

Aha! Cookie’s gravestone is in the Hosta Garden out back.

We’ll start there!

There, buried deep in the hostas and Lily of the Valley, lies Cookie, our sweet calico who lived to the ripe old age of 18 before she passed on to the great catnip fields in the sky.

We followed the smashed hosta leaves to Cookie’s grave marker, and found the next clue. Note to self: Remind Critter that henceforth we will NOT be placing clues in any of mommy’s flower beds.

Hmmm. My Captain wonders if Critter is crazy enough to mean the country road we live on.

We shudder to think of him crouching down on this road….long enough to tape a clue to the pavement.

Who knew scotch tape worked on asphalt?

The only ‘ride’ we ever had was an old Zip Line we had, that a tree took down during Hurricane Sandy. And the only part of that left is the stand My Captain and Papa built for it.

And it is all the way back UP…

the stinkin’ hill.

(Did I mention My Captain was tired from traveling several thousand miles today?)

What is high as an elephant’s eye?

Wait a minute, Varmint was in the musical Oklahoma earlier this year. We found ourselves singing:”The corn is as high as an elephant’s eyyyyyyyyeeeeeee.”

He couldn’t have put the next clue all the way out in the corn field, could he?

Through the magical fairy path in the woods (yes, complete with glitter on the trail….)

and through the prickers, raspberries, and poison ivy….

Until it opens up to the great corn field.

and we find the password.

All of that effort for this ridiculous password.

Was it worth it?

Eyup.

You bet your sweet Schnitzel it was.

Categories: Family | Tags: Critter, fun, funny, kids, Parenting, raising children, silly | Leave a comment

~ A Critter Christmas Tree ~

Posted on November 30, 2014 by mamaboe

Since our Christmas season this year is going to be rather abbreviated for various reasons, we had to squeeze a pound of Christmas Do-ings into an ounce of time this weekend. We hunted for and cut down our Christmas Tree, pruned it, put it up, realized it was crooked, and put it up again, decorated it, and decided it was facing the wrong way, so we moved the whole ding-dang show until My Captain’s OCD was satiated.

AND, we went to two shows: “A Tuba Christmas” and “Jingle Bells, Batman Smells.”

Don’t judge me. I’m trying to entertain people from the ages of pre-teen through Senior Citizen. It’s tough to make everyone happy. Fortunately potty humor is our universal love-language, and we do just fine at venues like these. Hunting the tree on a crisp, cold, clear day was lovely, as it usually is every year. This year we actually forgot to bicker, and clearly we need to go back and have a do-over.

A Christmas tree hunt without some minor family squabble feels just plain weird. But without much ado, the tree was agreed upon. The children each got their try at cutting….…though to be fair, they might have been napping, it was hard to tell. And My Captain, as he does every year, had to finish the job. I supervise. At my age and girth, it is my God-given right to just stand there and supervise. Critter found a couple of oddities this year at the Tree Farm. Most notably was a dead possum at the base of one of the trees in the field. Because nothing says ‘Live Christmas Tree’ like a halfway rotted corpse of some unfortunate overgrown rodent.

But also, he found the tree tops of two Christmas trees that someone else had clearly trimmed and discarded right there in the field.

MOM! I’ve got to have these!

Er, okay. For curiosity’s sake, why?

I need to make a couple of Critter Cristmas trees! They’d be like Charlie Brown Christmas trees, only REAL!

My Captain’s mind was way ahead of us. Right after he got our precious family tree up for us to decorate, he took Critter to his work area, and proceeded to do manly things like glue with super heavy duty, oh-lord-don’t-get-this-on-your-clothes wood glue. and drill with a heavy duty, two speed, supercalifragilistic drill, and nail…gently, so you don’t split the wood! And because Mama is watching, and you KNOW how she gets. And the next thing we knew, Critter bellowed, “Eureka!” and it was done.

Okay, there was no “Eureka!” It was more like a “Behold!” Or maybe it was a “Woot!Woot!” I can’t really recall. But what I DO remember is his face. It reminded me of the Absentminded Professor right after he invented Flubber. But a Critter Christmas Tree is way, way, WAY better than any silly ol’ Flubber.

Categories: Family | Tags: Christmas, Critter, fun, funny, Happiness, Holidays, kids, Love, Parenting, raising children, silly | Leave a comment

~ What Kids Really Need ~

Posted on March 26, 2014 by mamaboe

I took Varmint and Critter to see the movie Mr. Peabody and Sherman a couple of days ago, then afterwards stopped at My Captain’s fire station to visit. We hadn’t been there long before the munchkins, who were fired up after eating precisely 5.356 pounds of gummy bears, each, during the movie, began to be raaawwwwthar annoying. You know…..

“I’m not touching you!”

“Quit it!”

“I’m not touching you!”

“Quit it!”

“I’m still not touching you!”

“Mom! Tell him to stop!”

“Critter, stop it.”

“Mom! I never touched her!”

That kind of thing. I was tired by that time of the day, and wasn’t in the mood to deal with it well. I begged the guys on the shift to help corral the brats.

One of My Captain’s Shift’s Master Firefighters, Craig, has kids of his own, and knew exactly what to do. He walked into the office, and said, “All right, kids, time to wash the truck.” And then he turned and strode confidently to the engine bay, without looking back, as if there were no question that his order would be followed.

Both kids looked at me, perplexed.

“Well, Go On!” I nodded.

They whined and griped, but reluctantly followed him.

I waited a couple of minutes…just enough to let Craig get them started, then snuck into the bay to catch this on film.

They spotted me and glared at me.

I snickered.

“This is so unfair!” one muttered.

“We’re not even getting paid.” one whined.

Craig chuckled and pointed out spots they missed.

And he kept them at it until it was done.

And then, something wonderful happened. Halfway through, the whining stopped. You could see my brats start to take pride in how clean the truck was.

Some of the other guys on the shift stopped and watched. You could tell the kids knew they were being observed, and made a show of putting extra elbow grease in.

It was attention, for the right reasons: They were helping. Being productive. Being selfless. They felt like a part of the team, like their efforts mattered.

And they were proud of it.

THAT is what kids need. They don’t need more toys or channels, or more Ipods and x-boxes. They need to be put to work, so they can prove to themselves that they matter, and what they do matters. You can tell them until you are blue in the face that it’s not what they say in life, but what they do that makes them, but until they actually do, DO, it can’t really register.

Master Firefighter Craig has several kids of his own….he knew what he was doing. This wasn’t his first rodeo! He turned their negative behavior around…morphed it into positive, self-image-building work, and, quite possibly saved their lives in the process.

Thanks, Craig!

Categories: Family, Fire and Rescue | Tags: Critter, Family, Fire and Rescue, firefighter paramedic, funny, Love, Montgomery County Fire and Rescue, Parenting, raising children, silly, varmint | Leave a comment

Posts Tagged With: silly

~ Dapper Moose ~

~ Multi-Grip Valentine ~

~ Critter’s Quest ~

~ A Critter Christmas Tree ~

~ What Kids Really Need ~

Mama Boe

Site Visits

Search Mama Boe’s Blog

Follow My Blog via Email

Recent Posts

Archives

Mama Boe on Facebook

Categories

Posts Tagged With: silly

~ Dapper Moose ~

Share this:

Like this:

~ Multi-Grip Valentine ~

Share this:

Like this:

~ Critter’s Quest ~

Share this:

Like this:

~ A Critter Christmas Tree ~

Share this:

Like this:

~ What Kids Really Need ~

Share this:

Like this:

Mama Boe

Site Visits

Search Mama Boe’s Blog

Follow My Blog via Email

Recent Posts

Archives

Mama Boe on Facebook

Categories