In preparation for tomorrow’s knee surgery, I’m making cookies.
Yep. Cookies. You see, I’ve been in enough surgeries to know that the experiences surrounding the actual medical procedure, Pre and Post Op, are really key to a good outcome. And I’m not taking any chances.
In other words, I’m going to bribe my nurses with home-baked cookies.
I’m not above this kind of thing. Cookies are the universal language. The ultimate peace-offering. Good-Will insurance.
I’ve had mean nurses before. Thankfully, not often. Fortunately the number of good nurses far outweigh the number of mean ones. But reality dictates that there always will be a chance that I may be assigned a disgruntled caregiver. An unhappy camper. A Nurse Ratchet. And if I do, I’ll be prepared.
The advantage to having a broken down body that has required multiple surgeries, is that I’ve had an opportunity to find the Achilles heels of ‘Nurse Ratchets.’ I have unlocked the mystery to win them over: Chocolate Chip Cookies.
I’ll be writing a treatise on it in the near future, but my research is not yet complete.
It also works on policemen, firefighters, overworked teachers, and my children. It does not, however, work on the employees at the Drivers License Bureau.
They are too far gone.