Yesterday, on My Captain’s 50th birthday, the entire Montgomery County Fire and Rescue Operations Staff were out pounding the pavement for their annual Muscular Dystrophy Association Fundraising Drive.
In other words, they were trading in their good looks and charming dispositions for the loose change in the ashtray of every vehicle that stopped at the intersection they held up.
It was a hot, humid day, as always. Actually, it was a hot and humid 3 days, as all three shifts in the county get to participate. They actually compete against each other to see who can raise the most donations. In years past, My Captain’s shift has fared really well on that contest. I don’t know what they were doing to win…maybe going shirtless and just wearing their running gear pants and suspenders or something. (Obviously, the female firefighters could seriously pull in the moola with that maneuver).
One year, I offered to stand out there with them. It was hotter than this year, and I, in all of my soft and squishy mama-ness got overheated and nearly passed out. It was rawwwwthar embarrassing, took time for the guys to get me out of the street and into the shade, and basically was a big pain in the butt for people trying to accomplish something other than dealing with me!
This year I was like, “Hey Hon, do you want me to come hold a boot for a while?” and he was like, “Er…don’t you have a birthday cake to make or something?”
But fortunately, they didn’t really need me and my begging talents. All the fire stations’ shifts were already out. This is Engine 732’s crew. They are the next station over from My Captain’s station. Their station is shiny and new and big and has professionals to clean the place unlike My Captain’s aging firehouse. Those things don’t make 32 a better fire shift, but it is something I like to bring up over and over again, just to stir the pot.
And here is Station 8’s Captain, none other than My Captain’s best friend, (since 3rd grade when his father forced him to play with My Captain,) Ty.
Ty lets his wife hold the boot.
Well, he kind of has to, since she is a firefighter:
at Fire Station 34, who probably doesn’t fall out in a little heat during the MDA drive.
But the point is, she gets to play.
And I don’t. I mean, geez, you fall out one time and they never let you come play in the traffic again.
Where was I?
Oh yeah, Captain Ty was out in the traffic, too.
I think we can all agree that Ty is hot. No, I mean HOT, like, it was stinkin HOT, and humid out.
That, and he’s really good looking and virile. If you like that sort of thing.
Which Maggie does.
And she’s no slouch herself.
I want to be her when I grow up. I also want to be a Moose. Like a real Montana Moose. But that is for an entirely different counseling session, altogether.
Back to My Captain’s shift. So they were out playing in the traffic, raising quite a bit of money for Jerry’s Kids.
And nobody got hit this year.
Which is nice.
Last year, My Captain had a few near misses. We won’t elaborate on why people with ADD shouldn’t play in traffic, I don’t care what their rank is.
At the end of the day, the guys counted up all the donations. I think My Captain’s shift pulled in something like $8,000. THAT is a LOT of pennies, folks. Some of them, Canadian.
I think they also received a few Hershey’s Park play tokens, and a few ladies’ phone numbers, but MDA let them keep those.
But NONE of this is the point to this post. The POINT is that last year, for My Captain’s birthday, I had the time to bake him his favorite Boston Cream Pie.
It was a real Beaut!
THIS year, however, my kitchen is all torn up, I’m not sure where all of my baking pans are, and I didn’t have time. It’s his 50th birthday, and I couldn’t even bake him a ding-dang cake, even though he was working all day in the heat for MDA during his shift, AND running emergency calls, AND trying to get administration stuff done. And I couldn’t even give him a homemade cake.
I suck, is what I’m saying.
But I DID go buy a cake that the shift could share after they got off of the roads last night. And since I suck, I didn’t order it decorated ahead of time, so I had to write the birthday wishes on it myself.
I had a little trouble with the icing.
It’s a damn good thing that My Captain has low expectations in a mate.