New word for the day: Horrification.
What is it?
The feeling that consumes you when your father-in-law, who has gargantuan hands, holds up one of said hands to give perspective to the size of the freaking banana spider in his yard.
What is a Banana Spider, you ask? Go here for specifics. First, and most importantly, they are NOT venomous (except for the Brazilian kind.)
Secondly, the female’s legs can exceed 5″ in length. Oh dear God.
Thirdly, they tend to put their webs (very pretty, which gives them their secondary name of “Golden Orb Spider”) at human eyelevel, which is fantastic for catching flying critters like bees and moths. It’s also fantastic for encompassing your whole face when you’re walking around, just minding your own business. When this happens, you will know you’ve been slated by the God’s to be punished for some reason.
When we took this picture, there were four males surrounding this particular female spider. In case that one enormous insect wasn’t enough to give you complete and utter horrification.
Which brings us back to our word of the day.
Horrification: The desire to run away hysterically while yelling unintelligible words and possibly peeing yourself a little bit. Synonym: the Willies.
To conclude: Mama doesn’t like Banana Spiders.