I have a problem with my crack.
It’s growing. I mean faster than I ever thought it would. And if that isn’t bad enough, my crack is growing diagonally…rather almost sideways! I think people are starting to notice.
And the cold….the cold weather has just made my crack go CRAZY.
My Captain’s crack started growing before mine, and his is way, way bigger, but I can’t help but feel like mine is worse somehow. Like mine shouldn’t be so big, so fast. Maybe it’s a double standard thing. I don’t know. I have no idea what I did to make my crack grow so fast, and so crookedly.
Obviously, we both need our cracks fixed. And we will get them fixed, don’t you worry your pretty little heads about that! I am just hoping our cracks don’t entirely explode before that can happen.
No one wants that!
Wait….why are you looking at me like that? What do you think I’m talking about? I’m talking about our windshields!
I can’t believe you guys. Get your minds out of the gutter.
I mean, come ON. If we were talking about those cracks, My Captain could never compete with me.
Word.
Mama Boe 
I knew you were talking about windshields – especially since my crack is simply decorative!!