~ Earth Day Murders ~

We’ve got an issue with a non-native invasive species of Japanese Stiltgrass here in Dickerson.  Specifically at our house.  In the woods of our front yard.


I’ve been trying like the dickens to naturalize Hosta and Ivy and Ferns in that area.  It’s consternating as heck for me to watch my plants get covered up and completely choked out by this Stiltgrass every stinking year.  It multiplies and grows in the blink of an eye.  And the animals indigenous to this area can’t even eat it.  The stuff is straight from hell, I tell you.  It’s become my sworn enemy.

I had heard that vinegar is a wonderful and environmentally friendly weed killer when sprayed on the leaves of a plant.  At least so far it hasn’t been linked to mutations and cancers and hair loss.

So I bought 5 gallons and began spraying it all over tarnation in the front yard.

It didn’t work worth a hill of beans.  Nothin.  Nada.   Zip.  The Japanese Stiltgrass just mocked me in the breeze.

But at least the yard smelled fresh and clean.

So now I’m back to the old standby of using Round Up to kill the vermin weed, and hoping I don’t grow a third arm out of the middle of my back or something.

I was in the process of spraying it this afternoon,  when I checked my watch and saw that I needed to hustle over to Critter’s elementary school for their Earth Day Celebration or I’d be late.  Critter had been especially eager to share his Earth Day Song with us all.  I arrived just in time to see it.

Critter’s song went along these lines:

We’re Recyclers! We found solution to pollution.  We’re recyclers!

We ride bikes, not trikes.  You don’t see us using a car. 

We’re Recyclers.  We pick up trash, in a flash.  And then we smash the trash for cash.

We’re Recyclers.  We literally don’t litter because we’re Recyclers and we don’t let down the earth.

We’re Recyclers!

It was awesome.  I was so proud of him and his friends.  Never mind that there was absolutely no veracity in the lyrics at all.  He doesn’t use his bike.  We always use the car.  He believes picking up the trash falls under “Mom’s Job” category.   But daggum it, the whole thing RYHMED!  I was proud.

After the Earth Day Ceremony at the school, I quickly brought Critter home and immediately went back to spraying Round Up over the stilt-grass covered front yard before I lost too much daylight… I was on a mission, after all.  I was all: “Kill the grass!  Kill the grass!!!” with the energy of a zealot.

It was Earth Day and I was out murdering oxygen-giving grass by the droves.

If you don’t think I saw the irony and humor in that, you’re sadly mistaken.

Critter, however, is not speaking to me…….

Happy Earth Day!

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