~ Houdini ~

Critter thinks he is the Bee’s Knees because he’s got a true gift of hiding.  Any game of hide and seek he will win because he is the MASTER of fitting into places there is no way on God’s Green Earth he should be able to.   He’s 10 years old, and 55lbs… and of COURSE he makes it work for him!

But he’s getting cocky.  I’ll find him in the craziest squeezes and he is so dagnab proud of it he boasts about it.

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I can’t allow that kind of cockiness.  Sure, he’s good, but he’s never spent an entire puberty squeezing into Calvin Klein jeans that were three sizes too small because he couldn’t bear the thought of being a size 16.

And yes, I got them zipped.  Sure, I spent the day in perpetual agony and chaffage and wedgies did occur, but by golly I squeezed into those babies.

You know how Brooke Shields bragged that ‘Nothing gets between me and my Calvin Kleins?’

Well of course they didn’t!  Nothing more could have possibly squeezed in there!

So to your cockiness, Critter, I want to say, “WHATEVER! Spend a day in a pubescent girl’s pants and we’ll talk.”

But then I realize that might not sound the way I meant it, and I end up merely saying, “Good job, honey.”

Which explains a lot about the current state of Critter’s ego.

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