I’ve been so dagnab busy, my brain is addled.
It started when I woke up (it’s Friday) and thought it was Saturday. I got that all straightened out, and then I put my bra on backwards. For those of you who wear bras, you know that when you put it on and find out that the hooks are all wrong, you have to take the whole ding-dang contraption off, and start all over again. This is not only time-consuming, but it will get you muttering to yourself in short order.
So I’m putting my bra on for the second time, only to make the exact same mistake.
So I’m putting my bra on for the third time…..
I had cats meowing for food, the phone ringing, the dryer dinging, all while I was making beds and scooping and bagging cat poo from the litter box, and taking the trash out and gathering stuff to bring with me in my car for the day’s errands.
I was busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest.
I finally got out of the house, shut the door while juggling a multitude of various things in my arms, dumped it all in the front seat of my car, and away I went.
First stop: a friend’s chicken coop. Yes, we’re hen-sitting again. Only when the kids are in school, that translates to “I” am hen-sitting again.
When I finished with that, and got back in the car to go run errand number 2, I noticed the car smelled, well….off. Yucky. Poopie. I was driving, so it was difficult to look down at my feet to see if I’d brought some chicken poo in the car with me. The smell was pretty darn gross, so I opened the windows to gulp down some fresh air, and at the first available stop light, I got out of the car and checked my shoes.
(To the guy driving the truck behind me who laughed and honked: “Bite me.”)
There was nothing there. NOTHING. But my car sure as heck didn’t smell like NOTHING. It smelled like POO!
I ran several more errands, and every time I got back in the car, it made me want to gag. I checked my shoes, I checked my pants, my seat, my steering wheel. Nothing. Baffling.
The whole day, I was driving the Poo-Mobile.
When I got home, many hours later, and began unpacking my car of all the things that needed to come back in, I found it.
The bag of cat-poo I’d scooped out of the litter box this morning.
It was in my hands with everything else I was juggling as I was leaving. I’d meant to throw it out, but it just got tossed into the car with everything else. I’d driven around Montgomery and Frederick Counties in Maryland with my cats’ poo all day.
And somehow, knowing my arrogant little kitties, I think they would find that hiLARious.
The lesson to take away from all of this is not “Slow down.” or “Don’t get too busy.” or “Make the kids’ do their own damn chores.”
No, nothing so complicated. The lesson is simply this:
“If something smells like poo…..it probably is.”
And that little nugget of wisdom, my friends, is yours, free of charge…
….because I love ya.