I was bragging about how fantastic my bacon and cheese stuffed jalapeno halves are today. Frankly I do that a lot…I brag about my cooking as if it somehow absolves me of my gluttony and excess. Today I was going on and on and on about how good my stuffed jalapeno are.
You see, I mix creamed cheese, shredded cheese, dill, and chopped, cooked bacon. Then I halve and seed jalapeno (from Lewis’ Orchards…and they were beauties, let me tell you!) and I stuff them with the cheese mixture. Then I crush Ritz crackers, add some melted, salted butter, and top each pepper with that. And then I bake them into submission. It’s a thing of beauty.
And I bragged along the way. Each blessed step I sang my own praises. I belted out to all who would hear what a lucky family they are to have me for their personal chef.
I only heard one or two muffled snickers. And fortunately rolled eyes are silent.
(I hate ‘and thens’….)
I had my ego properly deflated.
While I was bragging ad nauseam, I was throwing the jalapeno pepper seeds and pith into the sink garbage disposal. I turned the water on, and flipped the switch…as I’m standing right over the sink.
The Jalapeno Pepper slurry below kicked up some serious aerosolized BTU’s if you know what I’m sayin’.
Don’t know what I’m sayin? I INHALED Jalapeno Pepper Spray, homemade in my own sink.
I have raised some heartless children, apparently, because as I coughed and gagged and wheezed and cried…
they laughed. No, laughed doesn’t cover it. Chortled. Gufawed.
My Captain was silent, but smirking.
But hey, those were darn good stuffed peppers.
(Mama’s Cooking Ego: deflated, but Intact.)