~ Bonehead ~

So like I said, I got Cortisone shots in both of my knees and was reborn.  A new woman.  I felt like I could dance a jig. (Note: When a 230 pound woman says she feels like she could dance a jig, back away slowly.)

The doc told me the shots could work a long time, or a short time…only time would tell.  Well, hell, I thought, with answers like that, he could be a meteorologist.

But I was feeling frisky tonight during Varmint’s softball practice.  So much so, in fact, that when the team needed runners while they practiced their fielding, I got in line. (Usually it’s the younger siblings that get that honor, but there were other parents getting in on it tonight, and I was not about to be left out.)

Know this:  I wear crocs all the time.  And tonight was no exception.

So there I am, on Home Plate, waiting for my chance.  Crack goes the ball, off I go lumbering down the line in my super spiffy crocs and my re-born cortisone osteo-arthritic knees.  And baby, I made it!  SAFE!

I would like to be able to say that I was graceful in my 1st base success.  I would like to say that I was the perfect role model for good sportsmanship.  I would like to say I’m a size 6, but none of these things would be remotely true.

I hooted and hollered and taunted: “I’m crippled AND wearing crocs and my old butt is SAFE on 1st!  What do you think of THEM apples, Ladies?!”  And I danced that dangerous 230 pound jig.

They nailed me on 2nd.

But I didn’t care.  I had made it to 1st, dagnabbit!

I’m limping again.  My knees are burning again.  My daughter is probably wishing she had just about anyone else for a mother, again.

But man! It was worth it!

I know, I know, I’m a BONEHEAD.  It’s Pathetic.  Absolutely pathetic.  Clearly I have issues.