About a Kagillion years ago, I paddled. And by paddled I mean I kayaked white water. (Get your minds out of the gutter already!) I used to drive from Columbus, Ohio to anything white and frothy that I wasn’t too skeeered of in Pennsylvania and West Virginia.
***Wasn’t Too Skeered Of*** being the important part of that sentence.
During these crazy years, I knew a mountain of a man named Keith. Keith was / is a ball of energy and sarcasm and intelligence and foolhardiness all wrapped up in a silly grin.
He’s a ton of fun to hang out with.
During the first season, as I was learning to paddle, I was introduced to several new concepts. First off: Peeing in the woods. But that is for another story altogether. Second: Wet Suits, and how to live in them.
My first couple of weekends on the water, I actually rented my wet suits, because I didn’t know if I would enjoy the sport enough to plunk down the money to buy my own. I’ll never forget my mortification when I was being sized and the shop renting the wetsuit put me in an FXXL.
To this day, I don’t actually know what FXXL stands for, but you can imagine what my paddling buddies suggested.
I’m telling ya, with friends like these….
Back to Keith. We were paddling down the river, and I had to PEE. I couldn’t hold it any longer, and the thought of getting out and peeling all of my wet, clingy layers off to pee in the woods and then layer them back on was too daunting. I asked Keith how on earth he dealt with it. I’ll never forget his response:
“Pam, there are two kinds of people in this world: Those that pee in their wetsuits, and those that lie about peeing in their wetsuits.”
Now, it’s funny, yes. But imagine you are wearing a RENTED USED wetsuit when you hear it.
Needless to say, I own my own wetsuit now.