~ Square Dancing ~

I was raised in Ohio, but to say I am a country girl would be, uh, not correct.  Still, in middle school we did devote a week of Phys Ed to Square Dancing.  I haven’t done so since.

Until last night!

(Begin playing banjo music in the background)

The Poolesville United Methodist Church was putting on a square dance as a fund-raiser.  It sounded like an unusual evening to me, and I was ripe for an unusual evening.  I begged My Captain to take me.   I don’t know if he has known me long enough now to be able to discern the I’m-Not-Going-To-Quit-Asking tone in my voice, or if I’ve simply broken him, but he agreed.

Now, why didn’t it occur to me to think “or he just loves me that much and wants to make me happy.” as an option?   Some things are better unanswered.

So I put on a ruffled skirt.

Let me just say at this point that fat women should avoid ruffles whenever possible.  Thank you.

As I was saying, I put on a ruffled skirt, My Captain put on one of his way, way cool Western Weave shirts from The Territory Ahead, and away we went.

(But first we stopped at McDonald’s because they were having a 2 for 1 sale on Big Macs, and even though I am already fat, the Scottish in me just can’t pass up a bargain.   So sue me.  Mine was yummy, and his was free.  Ha.)

I knew we were in for a treat when the normally staid brick entrance to the church was decorated with plastic wagon wheels and colorful bandanas:

and inside were hay bales, cowboy hats,

and some kind of party-like barbed wire.  Who knew barbed-wire could be so playful???

I certainly didn’t.  But I have to admit, it DID add to the festive country/western spirit of the gig.

There was a ton of food on tables to be sampled…everything from cracker munchies to herbed cheese and walnut stuffed endives.  Quite the mish mash of Americana!  I LOVED it!

And there were a bunch of cakes that got given away during cake-walks.  We didn’t participate, because I’m strong-willed like that.  (Or because we came in late. I forget which.)

There was an honest to goodness licensed square dance caller at the mic.  I didn’t even know they could get licensed, but he did, and they a-hired him!  I fell in love with him almost immediately because he made everyone feel comfortable with this unfamiliar thing we were doing.  And he was as kind and genuine as you could imagine.  His name is Charlie Packard:

And he was full of old school charm, I promise you.  If My Captain had not been so dashing….I don’t know… I am such a sucker for old-fashioned.  Charlie was certainly that.   Look at what he played all the dance music on:

An Honest To Goodness 45 turntable!  It was SO COOL!  Whenever I heard the needle do that scratchy thing when he started a song, I was launched way back to my childhood.

Now as for the dancing….

It turns out that not only do I have two left feet, I also have two left arms.  Whenever our square of 8 people got all discombobulated, it was usually me in the middle going, “Uhhhhh….”

My Captain would chuckle, and nudge me the right direction…a couple of times he yanked me the right direction…and once he pushed me (lovingly) at the guy ‘on my corner’.  If you’ve ever met me, you know I’m not a petite little thing.  My Captain had to work.  But God Bless Him, he Do-Si-Doed me and Promenaded me like a real western gentleman.  I felt VERY feminine, even in my clumsy attempts at dancing.

He didn’t have to come.  He really didn’t.  But the fact that he did, and without mocking me or snickering at my mistakes, or rolling his eyes made me love him even more.

If that is possible.