~ The Big Chair ~

We need some new furniture.

Correction, we want some new furniture.  Our hand-me-down couch is sagging worse than my boobs, my rocking chair is thread bare on the arm that constantly has kids climbing up to read stories, and our piano is going to Grandma’s to make more room for us….and room for more chairs, which we really need!

So we took the kids up to Frederick, MD to a furniture store called Wolf’s.  The name should have been enough to put me on my guard.

We walked in, had not a moment to blink, and a salesman was on us.  ON US.

He had pushed himself up from a velour covered chair and limped over to us.

He was 105 years old.

Ah, this place pays their salesmen on commission, I’m guessing.  That, or he’s a really lonely guy.  That, or he’s an incredibly conscientious worker.  That, or he’s creepy as hell.

“Hi folks!  Looking for something?  Has anyone been helping you?”

“Uh….we just looking in general.  Just trying to get some ideas.”

We might as well as said, “Why yes, would you mind following us around the store for an hour, and insert yourself into any conversation we might try to have? That would be lovely, thanks!”

We found My Captain’s favorite chair pretty quickly.  It was the first chair we looked at.  Oh, sure, we spent what seemed like decades looking around at other chairs, but we eventually came back to the first stinkin one we had tried out.

It’s the kind of chair that hugs you when you sit in it.  And it’s got a hidden talent…it reclines.

My Captain, who strives to be the best role model for my Critter that he can, showed him immediately how to properly make use of such a chair.

We bought two.  They will be upholstered in a plain cream color, because evidently I’m on drugs or something and think my kids will never eat in these chairs.

They come in two months.  And then, my friends, then you will REALLY see some blogging.  I can just see myself now.  Comfortably reclined, laptop on knees, sipping a pina colada while my man-servant peels me grapes.

At least, that is how the salesman painted the picture for me……