Tonight our dryer broke.
“Oh, what a shame,” you think.
But you think wrong. It’s not a shame. It’s a *$%*&@#*&*!! TRAVESTY. You don’t realize the enormous and far reaching implications of this.
I’ve got wet laundry that I had to hang on the line we have jerry-rigged in our basement. And I have a service man coming tomorrow to work on the Dryer.
The Dryer in the basement.
Where the clothesline is.
And my big-butt undies are hanging there now. There is no way on God’s green earth they will be dry by the time the service guy gets here tomorrow.
I don’t want to re-wash them all again, so I can’t throw them back in a pile while they are wet. So I did my best to camouflage them in between shirts and pajamas and socks that are also on the line. But let’s not kid ourselves. You really can’t camouflage big-butt undies.
I suppose it wouldn’t be the first time a service man has seen big-butt undies dangling from a clothesline in a basement. But it would be the first time he had seen my big-butt undies. And that is just too gosh darn personal for me.
And I’m shy.
This is going to cause major psychological stress for me. After all, we all need a certain degree of privacy in our lives. I’m fairly sure it’s somewhere in Maslow’s Heirarchy:
- Physiological Needs
- Safety Needs
- Love and Belonging
- Big-Butt Undie Privacy