For the most part, My Captain is quiet. Reserved. Practical. Unassuming.
He is definitely also tall, dark, and handsome. Let’s just get right out there with that. It’s nothing that you really need to know, but it’s something I like to muse over frequently.
And thank my lucky stars.
I’m still waiting for the day he realizes he married a completely bone-headed dork and tries desperately to find a loop-hole in our marriage license. But until that time, I’ll enjoy the view, thank you very much.
It turns out that My Captain, though the strong silent type, is also a man of many hidden talents. Once, My Captain, Varmint, Critter and I were sitting at the kitchen table eating a bowl of fresh cherries. My Captain got a twinkle in his eyes and said to the kids, “Hey…betcha can’t do this.” He loves to play with them (read: taunt).
Then he popped a cherry in his mouth and proceeded to do the following: (Note: Since a picture tells a thousand words, we’ve re-enacted this with photos for your enjoyment.)
Voila: A Cherry. Bing. Non-organic. Slightly over-ripe.
I got this. No sweat.
In it goes.
Step One: Eat Cherry. (Avoid Pit.)
Step Two: Place stem in mouth and begin facial contortions.
Step Three: Present tongue-knotted stem.
Step Four: Be very cocky about it as you present it to your step-kids and wife.
Varmint, in awe: “How in the world did you DO that?!”
Critter, unimpressed: “WHY in the world would you do that?”
Me, dumbfounded: “Oh. My. Goodness.”