Several years ago, when I was volunteering at Fire Station 29 in Montgomery County, MD, I met a terrific guy who was just starting his career as a firefighter. May I present to you:
Jerry. (That’s him on the right after a working fire.)
Jerry went on to become a Paramedic as well. Smart guy, this Jerry.
Jer has a fetish that he makes no bones about. He’s pretty proud of it.
His wife, Susie, puts up with it admirably. Not that she really has a choice.
She is a woman of patience and understanding, our Susie. Because, you see, Jerry loves Bacon more than is normal. More than is healthy. More than is, well, rational.
He likes it in his salt.
He likes it in his vodka.
He likes it in his candy canes.
He likes it on his chocolate.
Once he brought me some chocolate covered bacon. I will tell you, dear friends, that though I sincerely appreciated his offering, I never, never, never want to taste that nastiness again. Ever.
Susie informs me that he likes it in his mayo, he likes it on his band-aids, he has bacon-flavored envelopes, and he’s currently begging her to put bacon in her chocolate chip cookies.
As I said….excessive.
As a Paramedic, and knowing what the evils of pork fat can do to an artery, you’d think he’d be all about moderation.
But there is one time of year when he can abstain from bacon totally. Lent. Jer is a devout Catholic, and he takes Lent very seriously. So Bacon, his biggest love, next to his dear Susie and two beautiful children, is what he gives up for Lent. I guess that makes sense, because he doesn’t want to give Susie up for Lent, and Children’s Services won’t let him give his kids up for Lent, either. So bacon is the sacrifice.
Like any other devout Catholic, he gorged himself on his love before it started. I’ll be surprised if his blood can move at all by the time he’s my age.
Then again, maybe by the time his arteries occlude entirely, they’ll have bacon-scented Oxygen at hospitals, and he’ll enjoy the ride.
Bacon. As Jer would say, “It’s a Meat Hug from God.”