~ The Next Frank Zappa ~

My Critter came home last week with a song in his heart.  And by that I mean he had learned, created, and morphed a mixture of songs he and his 3rd grade cronies have been singing at recess.  He allowed me to put the words down to share with you.  Its pure poetry.

Please read this with the tune of ‘Joy To the World’ in your head.

And now, Ladies and Gentlemen,  I present to you:

Critter’s Muse ~ A Compilation of 3rd Grade Boy’s Songs 

Joy to the world, Cause Barney’s Dead

I bar-be-cued his head,

Don’t worry about the body, I flushed it down the potty

and around and around it went

and around and around it went

and aroooouuuuund, arooooouuuund,

around it went.

Don’t worry about the tail, I fed it to a whale

and a munch and a munch it went

and a munch and a munch it went

and a muuuuuunch, a muuuuunch,

a munch it went.

Don’t worry about the weenie, I sold it to a genie

(and right about here, he inserts this poem, in spoken verse, which I think is extremely outside-the-box and artsy-fartsy of him.)

There once was a genie

who had a 10 foot weenie

and he showed it to the lady next door

she thought it was a snake

and hit it with a rake

and now its only 5 foot 4

(And then he reverts back to the singing, only this time using the tune from ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’ (Or the ABC’s))

ABCD EFG

Barney is my enemy

Stick a rifle up his nose

Pull the trigger, there he goes (to the hospital)

And he still was not dead

So I took up a bazooka and

blew up his head

I went to his funeral

and threw some flowers

and threw a grenade.

The End

If you are wondering what our world will look like in the hands of the current 3rd graders when they come of age, look no further than the song above.

And run screaming to the hills.