~ Burt’s Blue Hawaiians ~

Poolesville is a tiny little town, and we like it that way.  There is an age-old sense of community here; it has not been assimilated into the urban sprawl culture.  It’s not quite Mayberry, but we wouldn’t mind it so much if it was.

We only have a few restaurants here in Poolesville.  For a sit down meal, there is but a handful of choices, one of which is a chinese-sushi-bistro, which if you think about it, mixes enough non-mixable culinary cultures to confuse a person.  (Is ‘Bistro’ French or Italian? Isn’t sushi Japanese? The only thing it’s missing is pizza.)

There is a bar in this particular restaurant, and it is either manned by a guy name Burt or wo-manned by a lady named Lisa.  Alarmingly, a few of the times My Captain has taken me there for dinner and a drink, Burt has served me into oblivion.  And as I believe in earlier posts we have established that I’m no waif, this is an accomplishment worthy of raising your eyebrows.

Look, i’m no lush.  And I don’t have the money to sit there and drink all night. (Or the time for that matter!)   I don’t like the taste of beer.  I don’t like the taste of the traditional hard liquors.  You’d think that would narrow my field of chances of getting snookered considerably.  But Burt can put me on the floor with one drink.  Ya gotta understand… I can’t be responsible whenever Burt makes my old nemesis.

The Blue Hawaiian.

It’s served in a tall frosty glass.  It’s carribean blue.  It’s fruity.  It’s ice-cold.  It’s sweet. It’s tart. It’s Island-ish.  It’s unbelievably yummy.

And it puts me on my tuckus, every time.

I don’t even know what’s in it.  It could be the fluid from Solar Panels, for all I know. And I can state unequivocably that pre-loading with Lo Mein does absolutely nothing to slow the journey into oblivion.

Its gotten to the point where I drink only water when we eat there, because sometimes I just want to remember the evening, you know what I mean?  But My Captain knows, if I have a bad day, or if something really cruddy stresses me more than usual, its time for Burt’s Blue Hawaiian.  Its powerful stuff, man.

I’ve never been to Hawaii, but if those islanders do to me what that drink does to me, I ain’t a goin.