Its no secret I have a fetish for doormats. I’ve come clean about that. But….I can’t believe how hard this is to admit…..there is more.
I kept telling myself I could stop anytime. At first, it was just fun, then impulsive, then a burning need and before I knew it, I was hiding the fact that I was unable to stop. Troy confronted me a couple of times, and he is ready to hold an intervention. I know I should quit.
But …. I …. just….can’t.
Being my close and personal friends, you won’t judge me, so I feel I can share it with you.
Ok. Here Goes: (deep breath)
Hi. My name is Pam, and I have a problem. I have a addiction for …..
Blankets. Throws. Afgans. Wraps. Anything fleece and soft and wrap-able.
And if I pass anywhere near a Jo-Ann Fabric store…heaven help me. It only takes a moment to have a couple of yards cut off a roll of winter fleece. Oh, the selection! The value! Did you know you can buy a couple of yards of Toy Story Printed Winter Fleece for just over 10 bucks!
God, I love this country!
And if I hit the Dollar Store on the same day…. I need a moment to breathe….OH WOW.
Sadly, like any other addiction, it’s now affecting my poor children. Not too long ago, Gwen and Garrick asked if they could use some of the blankets to make a fort. (I have a lot of blankets. A few for each season. I SAID don’t judge!) They figured they’d drape the blankets over the piano, the couches, the ottomans, the cat tree…make a fort. And it was a terrific fort! Took over darn near the whole family room (which, admittedly isn’t much since our cottage is small as crap). The Army Corps of Engineers would have been impressed.
And then it started. The fort. Took on a life of its own. The kids began hoarding food. They began taking in toys. They took in pillows. Flashlights. A Laptop. Then I swear I saw them carrying in a port-a-potty, a Hibatchi Grill, and a Mariachi band. I began smelling weird smells. Hearing weird sounds. I began to get scared. I never saw my kids anymore. Its like they were ON A MISSION.
Life in the family room, AS a FAMILY ROOM, ceased. For a full week it became Occupy Dickerson. There was no getting in and around the room. There was no TV watching. There was no lounging on the sofas. News reporters were everywhere. It was all about the Fort.
Finally we said ‘Enough of this crap!’, deemed it a fire hazard and a public nuisance, and had it dismantled. We had to call in the National Guard and the Dept of Public Works to help.
I’ll be washing woobies for weeks.
Wow. I feel better for sharing.
Thanks for listening!