We live in an old Sear’s Craftsman Kit Cottage. It’s cute as a button. It’s quaint and simple. It’s modest.
And by modest, I mean small as crap.
This wouldn’t be a problem for me…I believe small is good. But whoever designed these cottages did not consider an active, growing Varmint and a hyperactive Critter. We have no place for them to spread out in the house. No place to actively play in the house. No place to get the heck away from me (and vice-versa…oh believe me, Vice-Versa).
So Troy, my beloved, promised me he would finish the basement. And by finish he meant transform it from a 1950’s dungeon-esque, spider-webbed, nook-and-cranny-filled-with-creepy-crawlies cement-block space reminicent of a Vincent Price production, to a Pergo-Lined, panelled, TV and game room, complete with a vintage Skee-Ball machine my brother Graham and his family helped us buy. An ambitious plan that I have no doubt he could carry out beautifully.
Then came the ‘Might as wells“.
Never heard of the Might as Wells? Oh, they are a dangerous thing. Might as Wells start small and grow insidiously into enormous ventures. And by the way, you have to say it right.
Put a southern drawl on it: ‘miiite-ez-well’.
“We’re going to finish the basement.”
“Hmm. That wall has a bit of a water issue. Might as Well take out that wall and dig out the surrounding area so it doesn’t ruin the new floor.”
“Hmm. Well, if you’re going to do that, we Might as Well put in a sunken patio, some french doors, and a walled garden.”
“Hmmm. Well, if we’re going to do that, we Might as Well build some steps down to it from the rear yard.”
“Eyup. Might as Well.”
And you have to watch out for good-intentioned Might as Wellers. They’re the worst, because they not only grow your project, but they make you feel guilty if you don’t take their advice. Troy’s dad, Jay, is a Master Might as Weller. The guy’s got a ton of great, expensive and time consuming ideas. Sure, they are awesome, inarguable ideas. But he’s not allowed to suggest anything else about this particular project or we won’t be done until we’ve retired and are ready to move to Montana – or Troy and I kill eachother, whichever comes first.
At this stage in the project, the entire section of dirt on the north side of the cottage is spread around in various yards in Dickerson. Who knew people loved free dirt? I sure as heck didn’t. Bunch of Dirt-Beggars we have here! Yessiree.
And wait a minute….its January in Maryland, so that means we have had rain and snow. Hmmm…..Rain + Maryland Clay = Hellacious Mess. And that Hellacious Mess does not limit itself to the yard, if you know what I mean.
Welp. Might as Well get used to it for the next several months….