I remember vividly the excitement of ripping open a box of Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pies. Or her chocolate cakes. Or her cinnamon coffee cake muffins. I’d forgotten about how wonderful she could make partially hydrogenated oil taste. My children, truth be told, have not had the opportunity to eat all that crap as I did as a child.
Until this summer.
While at Pop-pop’s little cottage at the beach, I went shopping at the same mom-and-pop store my dad used to shop, called G and E Grocery Store, in Ocean View, Delaware. This is where we as a family have been able to find “Beach Sausage,” as Pop-pop had dubbed it. Milton sausage, made right there in Milton, Delaware. Those butchers know their way around a vat of MSG, let me tell you!
And while I was stocking up on our favorite summertime, artery-clogging, chemically laden pork product, I passed an aisle that reminded me of Little Debbie, and her glorious sweets. Only this time, I found she’s expanded into a beach theme!
I wondered how they would taste. I surmised probably like all the other little cakes of hers I’d ever tasted. But, see, I’m not one who likes to make assumptions…whenever I do, I always come out looking like the proverbial ASS in the assumption making process. So I did what any scientist would do, and embarked on a process dedicated to research and objective fact finding.
….I bought them all.