Monthly Archives: January 2014

For Christmas this year, I sent my brother, Graham, and his family, a container of some of my most decadent fudges (all of which had either Grand Marnier, Kahlua, or Baileys), my best orange-honey syrup drenched Baklava, and other recipes designed to cause trauma to renal systems.  I can’t remember if I included my famous Turbo-Rum Balls….I may actually have eaten them all before I packed their tin.  Of course, if that were the case, there would be no way I’d remember it.  Or anything else, for that matter.

When I was younger, and his kids were younger, I put a different kind of effort into material gift-giving for Graham’s family.  But as time went on, I began to realize that none of the gifts I painstakingly wrapped in confetti would be memorable, or meaningful, or even frankly, needed.  I ran out of ideas.

It has taken me 46 years to realize the perfect gift, but I’m happy to say I believe I’ve found it:  My own crafted baked goods.  I’m proud of my Baklava, my fudge, and my turbo-rum balls….all made with my own Madagascar-bean cured vanilla, local butter, and LOVE. So I wrapped them carefully in layers of wax paper, and pretty Christmas Tissue, placed them in a beautiful and festive shiny green tin container, wrapped that sucker in a bow that even Dame Martha would be proud of, and sent it with Grandma Jane as a Christmas treat for her visit with them in New Jersey.

When Grandma Jane came home, she did so bearing a gift from my brother that brought a tear to my eye.

Not only had he and his family sent another generous gift certificate for dinner at The Comus Inn, but this year he added THIS:

That’s right…his OWN home-made goodie!  And there was no way he could possibly have known that I had used up all of my own home-made, aged vanilla when I made his gift, and must wait another 6 to 8 weeks for my new batch to ripen.

(See all the dirt-like specks of vanilla goodness giving off delicious, happy flavor to my bourbon base?!  This has got to be one of the most wonderful things known to mankind.  Seriously.)

I was so pleased with my brother’s thoughtfulness, I put both of our vanillas together for a kind of sappy, sentimental baker’s hug.

And after I did that, I placed Graham’s Vanilla proudly on the mantle of my baking area….the magical place where good things happen.

Every time I look at it, I have to smile.

It’s like The Gift of The Magi, only with less Magi, and more Graham.  So it’s really like The Gift of The Graham.

I’m not sure what book that’s in…….

…but it’s a good one.

Look, I love creativity.  I love, Love, LOVE domesticity.  I love being a full-time, totally engaged, all-in Mom, housewife, and sex-symbol.  (A girl can dream, can’t she?)

Often this includes nesting to the Nth degree.  Every season.  All over the house.  Creativity and a glue-gun complete me, is what I’m saying.

So when I decided to take on one of Dame Martha (Stewart’s) winter decorating ideas this December, nothing was amiss.  With deft efficiency, I lopped branches from our Frasier Fir Christmas tree, gathered several boughs from our many red-berried holly trees and rhododendrons located around the Little Cottage, gathered various pine cones from our Blue Spruce, bought some inexpensive red-glass ornaments, and artistically placed them in the large flower boxes My Captain lovingly built for me on our deck years ago.

Behold, the holiday beauty!

Doesn’t it make you feel festive as heck?

Now, Martha suggested also including ornaments made of different bird seeds in and amongst the greenery, for our winter flying friends.  I didn’t have the time, nor inclination, frankly, to set about moulding thistle and sunflowers mixed with peanut butter in a bell or star or heart shape, so I just sprinkled bird seed generously on top of each box.

Fast forward a couple of weeks.

The squirrels decimated the greenery, gleefully chucking it either on the deck or into the garden.  The sparkly red-glass ornaments chipped their most likely toxic, or at the very least, non-eco-friendly, made-in-China glaze into my garden and flower boxes. And after eating the birdseed, the boxes became some kind of nasty, slimy, bird poo ground.  I’m not kidding, my lovely flower boxes have turned into some kind of avian cess-pool.

I suppose by spring that will act as terrific fertilizer, but for now, it’s one hell of an eyesore that I do NOT want to fish my toxic ornaments out of.  As in, EVER.

Well, the whole decorate with boughs of holly and feed the birds a-la-Mary Poppins SOUNDED like a good idea.  One of these days, though, I’m going to have to learn to discern reality from fantasy.

Thanks Martha.  You’re a peach.

Happy New Year, friends!  I hope your holidays were fantastic and filled with love and joy!  Ours certainly was.

My Captain and I surprised Critter and Varmint with a trip to Disney World during the week between Christmas and New Years.

It was not only their first trip, but mine too!  I love the picture, below, of the kids with Goofy.  Oh, and there is some Disney doggie character in the background as well…..

We enjoyed ourselves immensely, and learned a lot about the whole “Disney Experience.”

I’ll pass on some of my newly gained nuggets of wisdom to you, because I love ya!

Firstly, do NOT ever get the meal plan.  At least, don’t get as many meal plans as there are people in your group.  Why?  Because it’s too much freakin’ food, that’s why, and you’ll feel compelled to eat it all since you paid for it.  It was nothing less than a gastronomical challenge to me, I tell you.  Every seam in all of my pants have been punished beyond their capacity.  I’m surprised I didn’t have a blow out while I was there.

Secondly, if you do not like crowds, be sure to miss the New Years Eve celebrations at any of the parks, because around 5pm, the Disney Staff, in their infinite wisdom, hand noisemakers out to all the sugar-filled kids in the crowd, in anticipation of the midnight celebration.  It raises the decibels of the crowd in general exponentially.  By 8:00pm, I was ready to grab one of those noisemakers from any passing kid, and shove it up Mickey’s as…..er, that is, I was ready to leave.

Thirdly, a person cannot possibly ride Space Mountain enough times.  It’s absolutely impossible.  Or Expedition Everest, for that matter.

Fourthly, if you are staying at a resort in Disney that is hosting a Basketball Tournament while you are there, and you are in the hot tub enjoying what you expect to be a quiet, adult, relaxing moment, and then half of the basketball players and their girlfriends descend upon the tub, while eating ice-cream sandwiches, and you exclaim, “Oh HELL no!”,  be prepared for your youngest child to tell this story to a complete stranger and his family while waiting in line for the Fantasmic Show.   Expect all of the blood to rush to your ears in embarrassment.  Then pull the little peckerhead aside and promise him that if he throws you under the bus again, you’ll eat every bite of his cotton candy.   Mean it sincerely.  Flick the back of his head when he laughs in your face.

Fifthly, be sure NOT to ride water-related rides in the beginning of the day.  There is not enough Anti-Monkey-Butt powder in the world to combat sweat, wet pants, heat, and 12 hours of friction.  The results can be disastrous.  Don’t ask me how I know this.

And lastly, be grateful for the chance of a lifetime that you got to go, and feel sorry for those who never can or do.

I’ll be honest with you, though.  It’s GREAT to be home!

Happy New Years!

Love,

Mama