Monthly Archives: August 2013

~ Grass Seed and Regatta Champions ~

It all started when My Captain was flinging grass seed in the rain up a very muddy hill.  He is an aggressive grass seed slinger, apparently, the mud was slick, and bada bing, bada boom, he was ass-over-teakettle down the hill.

I didn’t actually see it happen, but by the way he limped into the house, still clutching his 50 pound bag of seed in a vise-like grip, with mud on his body from stem to stern, I could easily re-play the scenario in my head.  He hit the deck.  And by hit the deck, I mean HIT THE DECK.

And very likely ripped something in his shoulder.

This was unfortunate for a multitude of reasons, as you can imagine.  1) He’s a firefighter/paramedic.  He does USE those long, beautifully muscular arms of his quite a bit.  2) He was planning to begin digging the pits for the concrete bases to the posts (that will hold up the new roof for our future patio) the next day.  A bum shoulder cannot dig through Maryland clay.

Enter Connor.

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A new high school graduate, Connor is also an EMT and budding firefighter, and is always willing to work.  So we hired him the next day to do the hard, shoulder-wrenching digging while My Captain built the concrete forms.

We love Connor.

But Connor isn’t always upfront about his personal life and we found out later in the morning that he had agreed to work with My Captain on what turned out to be his 18th BIRTHDAY!   How did we find out?  Facebook.  Unbelievable.  The kid couldn’t just mention it. Nope.  I have to find out via his Mama on Facebook.  It’s a strange new world, this Facebook.

We all decided that the sailing expedition we had planned on the following day would be something Connor might enjoy as a special treat.  It also made sense to bring him along to save My Captain from further wrenching his shoulder by pulling lines and raising Jibs.

So he came along to Annapolis to meet our dear friend, and fellow firefighter/paramedic, Cupcake.

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His first time on a sailboat, Connor took to it like a fish to, er, water.  He watched Varmint, a veteran student of the Cupcake School of Sailing, at the helm…

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while Cupcake (who honestly is an international sailboat regatta champion) …

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gave him the low-down on how things work on his boat.

And Connor learned that regatta champions love to sail FAST and Crooked.

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(IE, heeling.)

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They LIKE to have their boats blowing sideways in the wind so everyone has to hang off the opposite side.  Like this.

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And this.

Despite this, we convinced Connor to try the helm while Cupcake instructed.  Although to be honest, in this picture, Cupcake looks like he is teaching how to play Air Guitar.

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Connor was a little hesitant, as might be expected,

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…but soon he got used to the feel of the rudder.

We introduced him to an entirely new world today.  All because My Captain is an Aggressive Grass Seed Slinger.    Crazy connections in this world.  Crazy.

And My Captain?  The one with what may likely be a torn rotator cuff?

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Pouted.

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~ Cracking Heads ~

I have a longer story for you about scrapple and drama surrounding it, but really it must wait for a night when I have more energy.  In the meantime, I will leave you with only this picture, simply entitled:

Cracking Heads

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Anyone who has had children knows how hard it is to resist knocking noggins together sometimes…..

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~ Chicken Poo ~

We were at the Tractor Supply Company on Rt. 15 yesterday.  It was a strange and wondrous place for me!  I wandered the aisles wondering what this was for, and what that did.  The fact that I grew up in suburban Worthington, Ohio was more than a little obvious as I wondered aloud what the difference between hay and straw was.  My Captain trailed far behind me, hoping no one would suspect we were together.

Then it happened.

I came upon what is perhaps THE most awesome thing I have put on my face TO DATE.  I bought several.   It feels so good when I apply and rub it in.

The package said:  “If ya got dry lips, put chicken poop on ’em, so you won’t lick ’em!”

And OF COURSE I was intrigued.  And OF COURSE I was eager to smear the chicken poop all over my lips.

It caused them to tingle!  It caused them to smell a little weird.   It caused My Captain to give me only his cheek when I asked for a kiss.

But holy cow are my lips smooth and supple right now!  I’m sold!  From now on, Carmex can take a back seat to my Chicken Poop!

I can’t wait to see what they come up with for Cow Poo!  I’ll be first in line!

In the meantime, though, I’ll be smearing the Chicken Poop on liberally until I run out!

Chicken Poop!

Try it today!

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p.s…..it isn’t REALLY poop!  It’s just lip balm!  I swear!  No, really, I DO have SOME standards!

 

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~ Do It With Style ~

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The one thing I have tried hard to teach my kids…..well, the one thing that I think they get, is this:

If you’re going to do anything in life at all, do it with gusto.  Do it like there is no turning back.  Do it with style.  Be sure to make a really big splash.

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But try not to lose your shorts.

Words of Life Wisdom by Mama Boe.

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