We were at the Tractor Supply Company on Rt. 15 yesterday. It was a strange and wondrous place for me! I wandered the aisles wondering what this was for, and what that did. The fact that I grew up in suburban Worthington, Ohio was more than a little obvious as I wondered aloud what the difference between hay and straw was. My Captain trailed far behind me, hoping no one would suspect we were together.
Then it happened.
I came upon what is perhaps THE most awesome thing I have put on my face TO DATE. I bought several. It feels so good when I apply and rub it in.
The package said: “If ya got dry lips, put chicken poop on ’em, so you won’t lick ’em!”
And OF COURSE I was intrigued. And OF COURSE I was eager to smear the chicken poop all over my lips.
It caused them to tingle! It caused them to smell a little weird. It caused My Captain to give me only his cheek when I asked for a kiss.
But holy cow are my lips smooth and supple right now! I’m sold! From now on, Carmex can take a back seat to my Chicken Poop!
I can’t wait to see what they come up with for Cow Poo! I’ll be first in line!
In the meantime, though, I’ll be smearing the Chicken Poop on liberally until I run out!
Try it today!
p.s…..it isn’t REALLY poop! It’s just lip balm! I swear! No, really, I DO have SOME standards!