I took Varmint and Critter to the pool yesterday. And we were lucky enough to have Varmint’s friend Amber and her family join us. It’s always so much more fun with friends.
I realized pretty early on that the snacks we’d brought would not be sufficient, so I asked Amber’s mom, Michelle, to hold the fort while I zipped over to the nearby CVS for more sustenance. (It’s fairly well-known that I’m an innate nurturer, but few people know I’m also a pretty good hunter-gatherer.)
Before I left, I realized that I had no cover up for my bathing suit. But the bathing suit I had on was a swim dress and I told myself it might pass for clothes. Still, I felt a little uncomfortable shopping in what felt like a nightgown. But this is the cross a mother has to bear….we sacrifice for our children! If I have to go get a bag o’ munchies in my underwear, so be it. I love my kids! I had no choice.
I pulled in, parked, saw only a couple of cars, and figured I was home free. I would zip in like a commando, grab some high-fructose corn syrup, high-dose fat, and sodium, and be on my way before you can say ‘Occluded Artery’. And the best part of it was there would be few, if any, witnesses of me in my bathing suit.
I grabbed what I needed and hurried on over to the check out counter by the door….I was in luck! Only one person in front of me. I got behind him, and waited.
This customer was having issues with his visa card. Of course he was. How could it go any other way?
Then a group of no less than four people walked in. The door is right next to the check out counter, so they couldn’t miss me. I averted my eyes. Nothing to see here, folks.
I heard one of the girls snicker.
The customer in front of me decided to try a different card. Holy. Stinkin. Moley! I started tapping my foot, and pondered what the consequences would be if I just slapped my money on the counter and ran.
Then a couple came in. Elderly. In their Sunday Best. The woman in the couple looked at me with disapproval. I averted my eyes, again. I felt like I’d just offended ‘Aunt B.’ and wanted to sink into the floor. I felt naked, clothed only in my bag of Cheetos and sunblock.
The customer in front of me finally finished and moved on. I sighed in relief and put my goods on the counter but the guy at the register looked at me for a moment longer than necessary, as if to say, “Really?” I averted my eyes, again, again, swiped my visa card, and got out of there fast, fast, fast.
I breathed a sigh of relief as I got back to the pool because I could relax amongst all the other people walking around in their skivvies. I was once again amongst my kind. And now, in fact, I was the hero bearing goodies and munchies.
Why is it, I wonder that it’s socially accepted to be walking around half-naked in one place, and a block away it’s taboo? What a ridiculous concept.
But you can bet your bottom dollar that next time I’ll have a cover up on. Or bring more snacks in the first place. Or both.