~ She Smells Like Poo ~

I spent the majority of the day smelling like fertilizer.  I fertilized the grass, the garden, and, apparently, my clothes.  And since I didn’t have time to shower or change until 11:00pm tonight, I enjoyed that odor all day long.

I use an organic product called Milorganite.

Milorganite is cheap, and full of crap, much like myself.  ( huh?)

It is literally “composted bio-solids.”  Sounds yummy, don’t it?

Second line under Growing Beautiful Lawns, Trees, Shrubs and Flowers since 1926:

“…produced by sewage wastewater treatment processes..”

I have to wonder who first came up with the idea to: 1) use human poo to fertilize and 2) collect and process it for such a purpose.  Oh, and 3) how much did they pay people to make it?  Not enough, I’d venture.

Why do I use it?  When I was a young whippersnapper (whippersnapper? Really? Did she really just use that term?) I worked at a company called American Plant Food in Bethesda, Maryland.  There I learned all about this fantastic product.  It very effectively keeps deer away from flowers. It slowly releases Nitrogen into grass without burning it.  It does not consist of any chemicals.  And it costs less than just about any mass-produced fertilizer/deer repellant out there.

I use it every season.

Here is what my tulips look like when I don’t treat them with Milorganite.

Damn you, Bambi!

It’s a good thing I’m a bleeding heart, or you’d be a steak on my plate you no-good tulip munching …..

And here are some tulips that have been treated with Milorganite:

Show promise, don’t they?

Ok, so my camera wouldn’t focus properly on the foreground.  Nice detail on the soil, eh?

Gracie was helping.

Let me tell you about a couple of drawbacks.  First off, there is a question about some tiny little detail like heavy metals in the product.  I dunno.  Look it up.  I’m not smart enough to understand it.

And secondly, there is a smell.  Not just any smell.  A SMELL.  Well heck, it’s composted human poo…of course it smells.  And no, you just don’t get used to it.  So I try to put it down before a good rain.

It was forecasted to rain all day today, tonight, and tomorrow.  So I spread it liberally, in addition to over-seeding our lawn.

It hasn’t rained.  Not one drop.  My yard stinks.  My clothes stink.  My cats stink.

But by Golly I’m gonna have me some purty tulips this spring!!!

Even if they do smell like poo.

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One thought on “~ She Smells Like Poo ~

  1. Elizabeth Adamczak

    Bruce & I still have the American Plant Food shirts you gave us (a hundred years ago)!! Still love ’em! =)

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