My Captain has the coolest dreams. At least the ones he remembers are pretty gosh darn enviable. Most of the time they involve some kind of fire or emergency medical crises, and he is in a position to fix it. Usually the odds are stacked against him, and he spends the duration of his dream problem solving. Sometimes, there is the odd Cold War Era Russian spy plane injected in the middle of it or something very manly-man-GI-Joe-Hero like that. But for the most part, they are consistent, normal dreams. Well, normal for someone in his line of work.
Me, I’m not nearly so mundane. Apparently my psyche has no linear thought process to it. My dreams range from half-naked clowns chasing me in the grocery store, to old gym teachers giving me wedgies in front of the class. Often one dream will cross several places and transcend multiple times in life. I’ll start off as just me and then suddenly I’m Pam the toddler, and then I’m me again. Then I’m Pam the teen. Then I’m dead and really am just a ghost. Sadly, I’m never the hero in my dreams….more often just the comic relief.
One time I dreamt I was in Hell, but I knew it was a mistake, so I was trying to explain my way out. I’m good at stuff like that, so I thought I would have a decent shot at it. But oddly enough, I wasn’t making any headway. Very strange.
Oh come one, who doesn’t have that dream?
Whenever my Varmint and Critter call out in their dreams, it freaks me out. I’m to their side in a heartbeat, soothing them. I don’t wake them, but instead try to inject happy-happy-joy-joy-warm-fuzzy-mommy into their dreams to either derail whatever nasty plot is going on, or to at least move them out of REM.
Then it occurred to me….what if the person in their dream who is making them scream is ME? What if I am the person in their nightmare causing them unhappiness? I have been assuming that when they called out my name that it was for help….maybe I’m the role of the bad guy in the dream.
I mean, I’m the one who takes away the Wii or the Computer or grounds them if they are out of line. I’m the one who yells at them to GET THEIR SOCKS ON RIGHT NOW, BUSTER! when the bus is coming. Maybe I’m only making the dream worse by inserting my voice into it.
And THEN I had an idea SO CRAZY, it just might work! What if I started putting subconscious suggestions into their dreams when they call out at night. Things like, “Sweetie, you could win this battle if only you would clean your room.” or “Love, the boogie man cannot get you if you make it to the bus on time, socks and all.”
Would that be wrong?
Or would it be Wile E Coyote Super-Genius?