Occasionally, but not frequently, I feel sorry for My Captain. I would feel sorry for him more often, but he chooses to stay with me, so I figure he’s got it coming to him.
Apparently I can be difficult to live with.
I like to say I have high expectations. My mother would tell you I am a perfectionistic pain in the arse. But whatever you call it, it can be difficult…challenging even, to live with me. Sometimes because I cause pain. Sometimes because I cause embarrassment. Sometimes because I cause regurgitation.
Here is an example of why you, dear friends, might feel sorry for The Captain, too.
Me: “I wish you didn’t have to work Overtime today.”
Troy: “I wouldn’t have to if you would cut back on your trips to The Dollar Store.”
Me: “I know. I miss you.”
Troy: “I miss you, too.”
Me: “Are you just saying that because I said it first and you feel like you have to say it back?”
Me: “What do you mean by that?”
Troy: “I mean I really miss you.”
Me: “How much? How much do you really miss me?”
Troy: “A Ton. I miss you a ton.”
Me: “Are you calling me fat?!!!”
See what I mean?